my experiences

2011(A Year Of Melancholy)

The year started of with a wonderful memorable fantastic trip in the 3rd year of my college and ended with my marriage.i cant believe that i am saying this but its more than true.as i have already written in my blog about the coolest trip i had in college,started the year 2011 with fun n joy.

later by the end of the year got married with god speed.cant even think about it while it was happening.for a girl its the most important thing in the view of parents just like career for a boy.my parents thought the same too.untill then my dad was my best bud in everything.he supported me in everything and every step of my life.He never even convinced me about things which i am not interested in.related to my marriage he has the same attitude Like i had.but then besides being my friend he started to think like a father.he agreed with my mom to find a perfect bride for me and started their search.at first i thought it is going to take a lot of time and i felt pretty easy about it.As months passed they seemed to be successful and i started to worry.at once i was told that people are coming to meet me.i felt tremors under my feet.But i still had to face it.at least for the sake of my parents respect.i had no choice.went through it somehow and within no time came another set of people and i was very furious about meeting people like that.but my 4.1 semister exams were approaching and i had no time to think about the drastic change that is going to happen in my life.i had to focus on my exams as i dont want to smudge my certificates with backlogs.that was more important to me at that time.I kept everything behind me and started my preparation. My parents concluded their search and fixed my engagement date immediately after exams.that was the hardest blow to me but i had nothing to do about it.i thought i would find some clarity about having a career and I can defend myself with it to get away from marriage. But things were rolling real fast and i was totally lost. I completed my exams and got engaged.i finally decided to make my parents happy instead of ending my life.i took it as a suicide mission and accepted to marry.i thought it was my chance to show my gratitude to the wonderful parents i had.i thought that till now i had a contented life and it was enough.maybe it was my turn to make mom and dad happy and the time has come.time jus flew off without looking back and finally got married.

my parents are not jus happy but felt like they achieved what they have been dreaming of.All of a sudden their dreams turned out to be watching me getting married rather than having a career.i felt like a paper flying with the wind aiming for nothing.finally i landed in uday’s life without my Notice and intention.days rolled involving all the customs post marriage and i came back home as decided.both our families had a deal before even being engaged.it was about me coming back home after marriage and completing my bpharmacy.i went back to college and finished my semester like any other girl.only then i came to know about uday and his endless support to my views.he was like ,do whatever you want i am there for you.untill then i was totally worried about my life with a stranger whom i am supposed to live with my entire life.my parents are lucky infact that their decision about my husband turned out to be right.though i dint have a career i ended up with a perfect life partner and an awesome kid nemo.
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sometimes i feel dejected about not working and that will never go away unless i work.it needs some more time to happen.

my experiences · my views

Most Horrifying moment of my life……

I never thought I would get a day so early in my life where I would worry so much about my parents. As I got used to be protected and be taken care of by mom so far, I dint understand what to do when I got a situation where I have to nurse my mom in contrast to the usual.I almost got worried to the peak to see my mom so helpless and out of control and faced lot of dilemma as to what to do with her at the very moment and panicked for a while besides seeming to be strong to her to assure her that nothing is going to happen to her though I dint know exactly what is wrong with her.

 

It was on april 21st morning when i was preparing for my semister exams with lot of pressure due to the uncovered syllabus and lot of tension.Similar to the past week i was holding my book in hands and trying to peruse as many pages as possible to blindly pacify myself and pretend that I have completed lot of topics for the exam.My mom woke up earlier than me to prepare lunch for my dad for the following afternoon as usual.Usually she faces a lot of trouble to wake up early in the morning as she just loves the early hours of the day to sleep peacefully just like me.So she woke up with lot of trouble that day complaining that she had a reeling sensation while waking up.Dad and myself thought that it’s the same phenomenon she comes across during the early hours so we dint mind her comment much and continued with our works.Somehow she packed everything for dad and dad left to his office which takes almost 3 hours of journey and he can’t come back for two more days.So after dad left mom settled on the bed to have 2 more hours of her precious sleep which i was observing while studying.Then suddenly our watchman rang the door bell and i was about to get up from my chair to attend the door and that is when the most horrifying moment came into the picture.My mom told me not to get disturbed and got up from the bed to open the door and she simply collapsed back on the bed still being awake.I was not actually that shocked because she sometimes acts as if falling down or moving all of a sudden to threaten me so i scolded her for doing so as it might give any neck pain or backaches.But she tried to get up slowly without answering me and she fell back the same way and this time i was alarmed about her unusual behaviour and went beside her to confirm what is actually happening to her.Then she gathered the whole courage to explain me about her position that she is not able to wake up or move her head even a bit and she is feeling like something is banging her head back with lot of force.Then i realised that she was affected physically very badly and couldn’t figure out what it was.Dad left half an hour back and i was all left alone at home with mom so dint have and idea what to do next.mom was speaking normal and able to think normal but not having a chance to lift her head or move and is having a lot of reeling sensation.then i tried lot of times to raise her to her feet but she was falling back very badly and we dint try to do that again.i called upon my dad immediately and by gods grace he dint get into his bus yet so he headed back home as soon as i called him.meanwhile we are thinking of moms position and what to do with her.she is not able to stand or move her head and to see a doctor she has to come out of the house.even to call an ambulance we dint know if it’s a big problem or just a reaction due to work or weakness so as soon as dad came he went to the nearest doctor whom we are well acquainted with but she is not here in her clinic and we were in dilemma what to do with moms condition so on the way back to home dad asked the nearest pharmacist for a suggestion and he told that i might be due to drop in her blood pressure so asked us to give salt water along with her usual bp tablets but it dint work too and we had to do something before the situation goes worse.so finally we called upon our family doctor saying that it’s an emergency call.luckily the receptionist transferred the call to the doctor and dad explained the whole condition to him and he gave a tablet name and told to give to her immediately and asked to bring her in the evening and assured that everything is going to be normal.then we are relieved a bit to hear that nothing is there to panic.dad got the tablet and gave it to her and slowly mom fell asleep.

 

i was totally shocked and couldn’t take the situation so easy to heart.i never saw mom so helpless and physically out of control and seeking for a support so badly.she is the one who takes care of us all the time and attends everyone in the family whoever gets hospitalised and nurses them so well and manages so well just like a doctor.i always wonder how she knows very well as how to care of a patient and how to feed them like an experienced doctor.but all of a sudden i saw her in the place of a patient rather than being a doctor to my family.i am in a state of confusion and worried a lot about her in addition to my worries about my exams.but once she sees me panicking for her she would start imagining that something worse is going to happen to her so i had to hide all my tensions and worries with a cool face and assure her that it’s just a small reaction in her body and nothing to worry at all.she believes that i know everything about medicine and diseases so i pretended that it might be due to the attack of diabetes or thyroid or something but not more than that.though she is totally terrified by the reeling sensation and not being able to get up she tried to believe my words and tried to calm down.on one side im worried about her condition and on the other side dint understand if i had to forgo my exams as there are only two days left for them to start.i cant leave my mom in hospital if she had to be admitted as i was sure that something big has attacked her and thought it was a major problem then. she cures faster if all of us stay beside her and comfort her in all the ways so i thought i am going to skip this semester for sure.i prayed to god that nothing big should happen to mom and i am ready to forgo my exams for that.from the moment i saw mom collapsing like that everything went blank to me and couldn’t believe the truth she is growing weak in health and its time to take good care of her.

 

later she woke up in the afternoon after taking the tablet and felt the same as before so we took her to the hospital with lot of struggle without causing much pain to her and with lot of measures.she tried a lot to help us to take her to hosp.then the doctor directed the staff to do all the tests required and inform him.then the doctor concluded that it’s all because of high count of lipids in blood that she collapsed so badly all of a sudden and its a very common problem nowadays.we got great relief to hear those words and felt like thousands of tonnes of weight is heaved off our heads.we brought her home and continued the tablets and she started to feel better after few hours.i started to prepare for my exams attending her every minute without fail.she recovered soon within few days and i felt happy to see her be back to normal.

 

the moment i saw her in her worst situation that day, i decided that i would never disobey her or hurt her in any way at any cost.i felt that she deserves a lot of attention of mine and need to satisfy her always.i thought the time has come where me and my brother should be attentive about mom and dad as they are growing old and physically ill day by day.they made countless sacrifices for us and never thought about themselves so far.so we are the parents now and should be careful with their every movement and love them as much as possible and show it to them as it’s the best medicine to parents they could ever be treated with for any disease or disorder.just a hint of assurance and the loving presence of children are the best medicines to them which would pass them through any kind of illness mentally or physically.i realised and experienced that for the first time with my parents and i strongly believe that it would be the last that any of them would suffer such a kind of day in our lives.

my experiences

CHILLING FUN WITH CHUMS

The most hectic happiness in my life

Yes that’s true……I enjoyed with lot of pain but still managed to extract the best from my tour to manali.Our college planned a tour on dec 31st which included many places from vizag to manali.Two of our lecturers in my college suggested us to propose for an industrial tour so that we would make it in our 3rd year itself rather than struggling in 4th year to adjust time for it.So few of our classmates  approached our principal and asked to conduct a college tour.To our surprise the most unpredictable person of our college agreed to our proposal and asked us to suggest the places too.we were delighted for the unexpected surprise and started to plan our tour.we took a very good amount of time to select the places and catch a proper travels for our tour.after a long set of discussions and ideas we decided to visit 5 places in 12 days.the places are Amritsar,manali,Chandigarh,Delhi,agra.our college engaged a travelling agent to
us and the travels took care of the tickets and the arrangements for our trip………..

days were rolling down and we are totally excited about the tour.meanwhile we went through our 3-1 semester holding the excitement in us.exams got over and our preparations for the tour started.we got ready with all the woollens and the necessities required.finally the auspicious day arrived and we reached the railway station with our parents.

I was totally excited about the tour as I have never been to such a long tour away from my parents for such a long time.I have been dreaming about this trip for quite a long time.I was never away from my mom and never managed things on my own without my family presence.so I was swinging with lot of emotions till the tour started……….

i reached the station with mom and dad and of course with munna on phone.all our friends one by reached the station and we were all in the same excitement.after everyone came we celebrated one of our classmate kanthis birthday in station.so our trip started off with her birthday and its dec 31st night 12’o clock.
wished all our family members and relatives a very happy new year and we bid our farewell to our parents for 12 days with lot of excitement and of course with little bit of pain in heart that we are going to miss them for a while.so our new year 2011 started with our college tour.

we settled in our places with our luggage and started our fun together. chatted with each other and occupied our berths to sleep.woke up in the morning the next day and had some coffee after fresh up.as we packed ourselves enough food for two days in train dint struggle much for it in the journey.we were moving a lot in the train throughout the day and had lot of fun.i stood near the door with my friends and waved to everyone and enjoyed the puzzling faces they keep for our gestures.we laughed like hell and played a lot.the following night was a bit hectic and couldn’t withstand the cold while crossing UP.all of us woke for the chilled air in the train and had our woollens on but still couldn’t bare the cold.so we sat for a while and spoke to the guard who was sitting in our compartment.the journey got over and we reached the Amritsar station and met the travels agent who was ready with the tourism vehicle.

we reached the rhandwa international hotel at late night and relaxed in our rooms.morning everyone got ready with ourselves and  went to golden temple which is splendid to see but I shivered a lot on the floor and struggled even to stand for a while on it.dint go inside the temple as we are in lack of time and went to jallianwala bagh which took two minutes walk to reach from the temple.the bullet marks were marked very well on the walls and the massacre is seen on the pictures which were displayed on the walls.felt bad thinking of the fear of the people who were trapped in that place by the fiends of british army.

then later in the evening went to wagah border which was one of the highlights of our tour.we were late to the parade so unfortunately missed the initial marching of the border soldiers but still managed to catch an eye of the hoisting of the flags.we took photos with the service men and later started off to manali in our bus.the journey took quite a long time and I was totally exhausted during the night.i have the sensation of vomiting throughout the journey but still controlled myself by changing my sitting
position in bus with lot of struggle.its the most hectic journey in the tour.

I felt like its been ages sitting in the bus waiting to reach the hotel.once we reached the hotel i
felt like I have been out of my world and dint want to stay anymore.there is no exaggeration in saying that I even thought of returning back to vizag immediately if there is an airport nearby.my toes literally burned a lot and I was not able to walk anymore.my friends got my luggage to my room and I stuck to bed for a long time not being able to thrust any force on my toes.slowly I managed to get ready and went to the restaurant of the hotel and have my breakfast.later we went to the snow point on cabs and the roads were totally covered by snow all the way.we enjoyed the views of the snow-covered peaks and their beauty.then we hired the snow suits near the valley and played in snow for a long time.as i have never seen snow or touched it so far in real,i happened to perceive each and every moment of my presence there.i couldnt play much with it because of the burning sensation inside but enjoyed watching
my friends playing like kids in the snow.we hit each other with snow balls and had long walks in the snow up the valley.finally while getting down few of us struggled a lot with our legs and managed to reach the cabs with the help of our lecturers.unfortunately its been late coming down the valley so we couldn’t go to solang valley where we planned to do skewing,bike riding and parachute gliding.it was a bit disappointing but got satisfied with the fun we had in the snow.the following night we had fun with everyone in the lounge and danced and made some moves together.the next day was the most memorable day in my life.i had the most thrilling experience i.e,rafting.we reached the rafting point and had our life jackets and helmets on.i dint hesitate a bit to take the risk of rafting as there is no restriction at the very moment and enjoyed the freedom of taking the decision and got ready for the thrill.we got into the boats in groups and i occupied a boat with 5 of my friends.the guy who escorted us in the boat is a very nice person and entertained us a lot.the ride is for 7 kms and i enjoyed with the rest for 5 kms
and then  started to shiver with lot of pain in my veins all over.I coudnt literally bear the pain and could not even withstand a slight touch on my hands.we need to hold the ropes on the sides in order to balance on the boat but i was not able to hold the ropes anymore.if not positioned properly in the boat I might fall in the chilled water which is damn cool and I would freeze to death or the boat might tumble-down and everyone would enjoy the same biting coldness in water.so i was put in dilemma and finally followed the instructions of the escort and held the rope tightly and started to cry bitterly in order to balance the pain in my palms.my friends tried to console me all the way and we reached the end point and got down the boat.after a while i got back to normal and started to think of the fun we had in the boat and forgot all the pain i had till then.we went to kulu for some shopping and returned back to rafting point.had our dinner in the restaurant there and gathered near the camp fire that we got as a complimentary by the tourism people.we ran across 3 pups there  and they were so cute and sweet.we played with them for a while and had some snaps with them.we had a musical campfire and all of us danced for the songs around the fire and enjoyed a lot.i have never danced like that so far and i enjoyed it a lot.then we started back to Chandigarh in bus.

reached Chandigarh and checked in the hotel in the morning.got ready and went to niper which is one of the reputed institute of pharmacy in india.it is vast and the labs are well equipped and very inspiring.while we were looking at the labs two of our friends fell ill and we panicked for a while and sent them into the bus to rest for a while.I happened to cry thrice in the university because of a crazy idiot and for shouting at my friend.felt like being at home and dropped a tear but as usual surrendered to my friends cheer up and got back to normal.then in the evening reached the rock garden.it was a kind of  maze which was built-in olden times and all of our friends enjoyed searching way back to the entrance. we separated in groups and struggled to come out of it.it was so exciting and a bit scary as it was dark by the time we got into it.we were able to hear the voices but not able to find the way out.I  enjoyed the walk in it and with the help of my lecturer we came out and the went for shopping.it was a very big mart where we get all the kinds of stuff at cheaper rate.we spread into it and had our shopping together.the most exciting moment and one of my wish got done here.since the moment i saw aparichitudu
movie I always wish that I would cross the road without my attention like vikram did in the movie.i told my friends about my wish and surprisingly one of my friends made me cross the road closing my eyes.i felt very happy for my wish has been fulfilled.later reached the hotel and slept well to revive for the next days excitement and fun.

morning started back to Delhi and went straight to Andhra Bhavan canteen where we had our lunch.then went to our hotel which was very small with compact rooms.luckily we got a better room and settled in for a while.evening went to Karol bagh and had some shopping there and came back.the next day we went to akshardam on metro express which is the fastest train in india.there I had a funny incident where I was shocked for a while and later burst into laughter with my friends.we were standing in the train commenting the people around in Telugu with lot of confidence that they wouldn’t understand our language.after a while I happened to observe a guy standing near us and i thought of making a funny comment on his face pretending as if i was talking to my friend beside him.all of a sudden he looked at me and asked us if
we were from vizag in Telugu.I was totally dumbfounded in shock.i dint expect him to be a person knowing telugu by his appearance.when i told my friends about the situation we all laughed like hell thinking of the consequence if i had made the comment.we reached akshardam and went through all the temples and had some shopping in it.the sculptures and art are outstanding and enjoyed visiting it.later went to  india gate where we took many photos with all the friends and then visited the lotus temple.it was nice to watch it in real but dint go inside as it was too cool there and came back to bus.then evening went to palika bazaar which is a underground market.we had lot of shopping together and enjoyed a lot.the people near the shops seemed to be funny making all funny gestures and calling everyone into their shops. i thought of getting tattooed along with a friend as it’s in my wish list but dint do that
fearing of infections we get later.then we struggled for a long time to find the way back to our bus and was funny too.we retraced the same path and went round the place once again and finally got the way.we had our supper in a motel nearby and came back to the hotel.

started off to Agra and on the way went to Mathura temple.i dint find it much interesting but felt nice to go around and watch the idols of all gods.later reached Agra by train and the hotel we lodged here was pretty interesting as our rooms were on terrace with lot of place in the front.the balconies were interconnected and we jumped from one room to other and had fun.night went to a hotel by walk and had nonveg food after a long time.there my friend forgot her handbag with a camera and money in it in the bus and noticed it after getting into the hotel.then one of our lecturers along with a couple of boys went into the bus and called us back saying that the bag is not found.then we were startled for a while and ran back to the bus.then to our surprise found them coming with the bag.we were shocked and shouted with joy that it was found.my friend was happy to find her bag back and our sir warned her smoothly not to
leave away things like that.its sweet to have such lecturers with us.then we walked back to our hotel at 12 in the night.I really enjoyed the walk as i usually love lonely walks on the roads at nights.the next morning we went to taj mahal the symbol of love.it was wonderful with all the glory of shahjahan’s motive in building it  for mumtaz.i was astonished for the wonderful work of people who built it and enjoyed the walk through the mahal.we had a guide with who was very funny in his words and actions.he lead the way and explained everything about the place and the mahal.we had a group photo with all the friends who came to the tour with taj mahal as a background.while taking the photo two of our classmates missed us and we found them back after getting the photo to our hands.they came back without much panic so dint had much fuss about them.then after having lunch we planned to go to Agra fort but it was closed by then so returned back to hotel.night went to pizza hut and had some stuff.later  everyone returned back to the hotel and played dum charades with names of places.we had fun together on the last night of our tour.we played so well and enjoyed very well.then returned back to our rooms.actually all our friends planned a lot to enjoy in our rooms during nights but we never got a chance to
spend much time with friends.we use to return to rooms at late night and get tired a lot.so we were not able to stay awake after returning to rooms.in the mornings we wake up late and get ready hurriedly and come out so we dint find much time to play in rooms as we planned before.atleast i am happy that we played for a while on the last night of our tour.

the next morning we reached the railway station and started back to vizag.the journey started and we were a bit unhappy that the tour got over and everyone started to grow dull but later we played all the way and had fun again.the most luckiest thing is there were no mishaps in the whole trip except for the delay we had in the return journey.there were some rallys and strikes going on and we were late for nearly 7 hours and it made us feel bored with the journey.finally we reached vizag at night 2am of 12th january.munna came to the station and I am back home after 12 days of fun and frolic.

its been immense fun to me going to the tour as i have never been away from home till now.i enjoyed the freedom very much and utilised each and every moment of the tour to have fun.i found lot of time to spend with my loving friends and i got close with them as ever.i felt that it would have been nice if we had this tour in the first year so that we would have got a good relation  with friends.i enjoyed the taste of facing problems with dear ones and enjoy the pain too with happiness.we were all together all the way supporting each other and perceiving the likes and dislikes of each other.its lovely to have fun throughout the day with friends and spend such a good amount of time together.i oweyou a lot buddies……….love you guys……..

my experiences · my views

Do I Have “ENEMIES”????……..Strange!!!

Yes it seems so strange to me to find people hating me.Till now I have never found anyone hating me or criticizing me as far as my knowledge z concerned. I never hurt anyone or make them feel sick of my presence.I am always conscious n cautious about it.So i never failed so far in that
point but recently I came to know that without our knowledge n involvement things happen and we get affected and had to face the consequences.As i got used to compliments n supporting statements from everyone I came across til now, it seemed so strange to see people hating me  so much n cursing me for every deed of mine. I came across many opinions of my friends n well
wishers that I appear to be headstrong and arrogant but I never cared them because my intentions never reflect my appeal and it’s not my mistake.But even this misperception of people about my attitude added to my fate and made people hate me more than they can do.It took really a good
amount of time to digest the fact but I got to know many things from this event of my life.

I understood that people are not all the same always.they change with time and its  not their mistake.
Sometimes even a small word from ones mouth leads to hard situations like
misunderstandings and rumours.
Having a conflict and arguing with someone is like putting ourselves into a quicksand n trying to find a good support to get out of it.
Never show our feelings or aggression to someone who can’t understand and are not worthy to take them.

Accident may happen even if others take a wrong step and we might pay for it.
Happiness doesn’t come only if u understand others but others should also be able to understand us.
Never bother about someone who are not worth of your attention.It gives
unwanted pain and strain.
Try to realise that what you see is not the only thing happening around you.there are  many secrets hiding behind you always.

Of course I am happy to realise many things from the situations I have been in and  learnt a lot.I am thankful to god for showing me my enemies and teaching me how to face them.
In fact the so-called enemies are the ones who don’t let us commit any mistakes n lead us in a proper path.We don’t easily make mistakes in their presence fearing of their criticism and mockery.I am correcting myself from their observations and allegations.My dad told me that
people never reach our expectations and its our mere mistake to expect from them.Thats true and I am learning it practically now.So far I have learnt enough from my college life and still
learning. I hope I will learn much more without anymore being affected……………….

my experiences

FRIENDS……..”the fairest part of life”

My first friend z my neighbour sruthi. After I started looking into this world her eyes added to me n we both use to be together.We joined in the school at a time n we are always together.After finishing lkg we parted as my dad got transferred.From then I never gave much preference to friends.I use to move with them but never took them serious.though i am grading up in school there is no much influence of friends on me.Basically I never trusted anyone.then we happened to shift our house away from our school when I was in 7th.Then I came to know bout my dearest friend raj………………… though I have seen her many times in school n I knew her by face I never spoke to her.But after we moved to the new house I happened to meet her n we both became friends slowly.In the starting as usual I dint trust her n I use to be like a touch me not with her too.Then later on because of our frequent meetings n random chats I unknowingly became close to her.We both use to share a lot of things.Many a times I rejected her n avoided her because of very petty reasons but she never even had an idea of missing me.She constantly kept in touch with me.She use to share everything with me n trusted me completely.Slowly even I opened up with her n started to share the most unknown things of mine with her.Then after schooling she joined in hostel n we parted for a while.Then I dint feel much bout her but she use to meet me whenever she comes here for holidays.We use to talk about the things with each other n she use to ask my opinions about each n everything of hers.She respected me a lot n I use to feel comfortable with her.after finishing inter we joined in long-term n again she joined in hostel.She used to feel nostalgic n out-of-place in hostel n use to share her pain with me.She had the determination to get a good rank in eamcet but always used to feel disturbed n upset.I always told her not to be depressed n keep studying. She z as bold as me n very friendly with everyone.The best thing of hers is she accepts everyone as they are n never demand for a change.She always appreciates me with my qualities n decisions n always be good to me.then after long-term she struggled a lot to get a seat in mbbs but could not.Atlast she got a seat in bds in some college very far away from her place.So in order to come up as a doctor she went there with pain n of course with a goal.Later she came here for every holidays n meet me without any fail.We use to go on to our terrace n talk a lot about each other.I use to go to her house whenever I feel like talking to her n she use to come to my house too.We both became best friends n I started to embrace her thoughts too.She always shares her pain with me n put up her whole confession n grief regarding various things to me.Then as usual she came to my house once before her exams n spoke to me n I also went to her house we had a long chat in her cellar the previous night of her departure.The next day I got a message from her while she was in her train saying that she z getting bored.I was surprised to see her message as we never messaged to each other before.I chatted with her in messages for a while n she went back to her college.Then after few days I got a call from one of my classmates that raj committed suicide the previous day n it came in newspaper.I was dumbstruck with the cal n immediately went to her house.Then her door was locked n dint get any hint of the news.Then I called upon her mom n got the news that family went to her college to bring her body …………………………………………………………………………………………………..

…………………………………………………………………………………………..this is the worst news I ever heard.My best friend who z very normal til now n very bold, who is really close to me, who shared the best part of my life, who z very broad-minded n practical in mind committed suicide n herself ended her life. I dint cry at the very moment because subconsciously I dint realise the truth yet. Then nearly for 2 to 3 hours I along with my school friends who got the news waited in her cellar to see her body for the last time. Then finally the ambulance came n my raj was lying in silently in the cold wooden box with a cross on it. She was covered in plain white cloth after the crude dissection of her body i . e post-mortem. Her family started to cry very bitterly thinking of the truth that she z no more. I slowly started to realise that this is the last meeting of mine with her in her cellar our meeting place.Her box was placed in the cellar n all who are waiting for her arrival surrounded her n the atmosphere z so heavy that even a feather seemed to be weighing hundred million pounds. I cried like hell for her from the moment she reached here. I was crying continuously for her. That is our meeting place. It’s the same. I was standing there n im the same n she z too present but placidly resting in the box with bright face reflecting nothing.All saw her face for the last time AnD forced me too to see her but I dint have the courage to see the smiling raj face in that condition. I dint want to have the last vision of hers in that condition. I thought I would like to remember her smiling face I lastly saw before she left to her college. Finally they took her away n my raj is gone forever. I cant see her anymore n i cant share my thoughts with her anymore……she is gone abruptly from my life leaving a very good impression of her journey with me till now. I dint know the reason of her attempt. I don’t want to know too.But the truth is she is not so weak at heart to do such a frightful thing. My raj is very bold. She boosted me many a times with her words n gave me courage with critical situations of my life but she ended up this way.Whenever I go on to my terrace i look at her balcony once n think of her.That hurts me a lot as ever. One thing i would like to say is problems are always the same.They would never end. But the thing is we should be bold at heart n mind n jus think for a while when we are really depressed. The moment we start surrendering ourself to our heart we grow weaker n weaker. So always listen to the mind n use your wisdom. Nothing is impossible in this world. Jus think of the family n their love towards us. Definitely there would be some ray of hope seen in our life in any kind of situations. So raj missed this point n innocently ended up her life.She is always the most precious person in my life n i miss her a lot…………………miss u raj……………….really miss u

my experiences

I AM A FOOL n its proved too

i was very confident since my childhood that no one can fool me so easily.the way i dealt with people n the way i accept them made me feel so strong n confident that i was in same opinion til last year…….but a great experience came into my  life n learnt a lot out of it.i totally changed a lot after the incident n it affected me in such a way that im not able to trust even myself at times……..as its said that whatever happens is for our own good i took it as a boon n now movin on with time despite of the failure n shock i received………………….

since my childhood i was in a strong hunt of a close friend of mine.i found no one who thinks like me,who acts like me,who perceives things like me…..above all who would understand me totally…i had many friends but found no one who have all the above qualities.

my dad use to warn me that we should have atleast one friend of ours who would share every nook n corner of ours n who would accept us as we are.so my hunt continued till my b.pharm first year a pause came to my hunt which i mistook it as fullstop.

after joining in 1st year i was new to the college n also late in joining.me n one more friend together stepped into college n lot of doubts started to roll in my mind.who z gonna be my friend,with whom am i gonna stay throughout 4 years which is the most important period of my life,in addition to that my dads advise use to linger in my mind”have a good friend who would stay through out ur life”………so in such a peek  situation the real star entered into my life.
she z one of our friends n we are a group of 9 members.we use to stay together n enjoy together.as usual they dint affect me at al n i continued my own way of life.suddenly the star started to attract me.she caught the weak point of mine n prepared the trap.she started off with a letter saying that she like me so much n she z feeling me too close than anyone else.at first as the human tendency says i doubted her affection n thought of testing it in my own way.but luck dint favour me much n i bluntly went into her trap.she continued showing her affection n love to me n literally convinced me so much that i cant help accepting her.then she cautioned me saying that dont let anyone else know our closeness so that they may not mistake us n sequester us from the batch.obviously i followed her blindly.each n every second she use to express her feelings n love to me n i use to be carried away by it.as im very bad at expressing love she use to scold me sweetly why am i not expressing my love to her.she use to flatter me a lot n perceive each n everything of mine in the way i do.all the qualities i mentioned before are amazingly seen in her n i totally accepted her…….here the twist came………
she does the same magic of love n affection n personal concern to two more friends of our batch…….isnt it fantastic………………………the major caution she took to do the same trick with 3 fools at a time is that she took a promise from everyone that  DONT LET ANYONE KNOW OUR CLOSENESS.
so she continued her relation with al of us n she remained as a radical part of our batch.here comes the twist for her…………….
she tried to have the same kind of attachment(secret) with everyone n in that process she made a backbiting bout one of our friends with another friend in our batch.the one who heard the star saying so was wondered n carried the message to another friend.so both of them came to know of her plan n tried to reveal it to us.but as we are totally concealed by her love couldnt believe their words n started to stay away from them.they tried a lot to tel us the fact but we put them away for a long time.then one fine day the rest of our friends went to the ones who knew the fact n asked them y they are trying to blame my friend….
then they started telling me but before that they asked me not to tel her back again(at the very moment i told myself in my mind that i should tel my friend immediately whatever they gonna tel) . then as they started to tell all the secrets of mine which i told my one n only friend i slowly started to believe them.they revealed everything to me so clearly that i totally believed them n also came to know how successfully she fooled me.i was totally mad at the very moment n couldnt even cry out of shock.because of her influence i avoided al other friends n hated them for no reason.she use to keep conflicts to one another n enjoy the play.she  tricked us barely for 6MONTHS.i even spared my parents at times for her sake n lost myself too.slowly all of us recovered from the shock n understood each one n regretted for what we have done to each other.we made a direct encounter with her regarding the matter n warned her to stay away from us.
now we are a batch of six n very clear bout each of us.no more backbiting no more controversies regarding anything.but the way she tricked me n used my weakpoints was amazing n marvellous.i cant help appreciating her n fawning her ability.the most incredible person i ve ever come through in my life n learned a lot out of this experience.now im clear bout people n relations.its definitely a stepping stone to me n it helps me a lot with my personality developement.
but my memories with her are ever fading n i felt lot of satisfaction wen im in her mania.i can never forget her betrayal n also never forget the affection she showed(true or not,never mind).this transformed me into a new human being n brought lot of maturity to my mind.whatever happens we should be thankful to god………….thank u god for giving me such a beautiful friend for 6months…………..thank u god for hinting me about upcoming threats in my life.

my experiences

My first memorable trip to ARAKU

The most enjoyable moment so far in my proffessional course is my trip to “ARAKU” with my classmates.This happened in november last year which brought me a  lot of memories n enjoyable part of my life.As it is very rare for me to go out with friends,it was rather an accident  n im amazed at the way i went through it……First all our classmates planned for a picnic n its the time for us to decide where to go n when to go.Our principal never try to take risks n we were sure that he wouldnt agree for our picnic to such a long distance araku.but he always surprise us with his reactions.i.e.he agreed for the picnic. we thought of taking a private bus but as date of our picnic z nearing we started losing hopes as we are not able to arrange the transport..Then jus as a trial few of our classmates asked our princi for the college bus for our picnic n to all our surprise he agreed for it………….at that moment……..at  that very moment he appeared like an idol of  lord krishna for us.he also asked two of our faculty members to guide us for the picnic.so our preparations started for it n then slowly our hopes started fading out again.some of our classmates dint show interest to come for such a long distance for picnic.so struggled a lot to convince them and atlast we were able to pile up a total of 30 members.we decided to start off early in the morning at 6’o clock n everything got arranged.in the morning the bus started from nad n all of us got into the bus n we reached vizianagaram to pick up the rest of our classmates n faculty members.there we got our lunch n water packets etc packed n started off to araku…..at first all were sitting  quiet in our places n started to get bored.then we decided to play some games.we started with dum charades which is the most common game that we play together.we enjoyed a lot in the bus itself  before we reached borra caves.as it was a one day trip we jus selected two places to go i.e.borra caves n chaparai……so we went to borra caves n it was so amazing to go with friends for the first time.there all the monkeys gave us a huge welcome by threatening us.we went all aroung taking photos n moving about together.i enjoyed a lot going with friends n went to every nook n corner of the caves n took photos.then finally we came out n then again started to chaparai.though the way to araku z very hectic n painful we dint find it in the way it is as it is with friends.even lecturers played with us n i found them very friendly n jovial.our favourite sir also came with us n we had fun together.we went to chaparai n its so beautiful scenic that i was taken away by the view it gave.we played for a long time there enjoyed a lot.we took many photos n played in water spilling at each other n had lot of fun.before goin there we had our lunch on the way in our bus.al the girls stayed in bud n al the boys n faculty sat in front of the bus n had their lunch.it was really nice to see that n they enjoyed it too.then after chaparai we started off back to vizag.the most interesting part of our trip is the journey.though two of our friends had vomitings n headache in the starting, the rest of the journey was so nice n we yelled while returning in the night.throughout the journey we sang songs al together n enjoyed like hell.night at 10’o clock we got down in highway.i think this is the first time to walk on the highway at such a late hour.we took an auto n reached home at 10.30.finally im home.but the trip gave me lot of memories n fun which i ve been waiting for years.al our classmates have got good interaction with each other we all enjoyed together.this will always last as a sweet memory to me n i really enjoyed a lot……………